It's me, hi...I'm the problem it's me! Imposter Syndrome and Overthinking: Faye on her first blog
Hi it's me...I'm the problem!
Imposter Syndrome and Overthinking
Written by Faye Zandi
Yesterday, I was on my first Podcast! And now I'm panicked. So this blog is for all the over-thinkers who deal with imposter syndrome and might be afraid to put themselves out there, even though they really want to.
I was lucky enough to be a guest on The Waxing Podcast with the most fabulous Kirsten Goetzelman, aka @tampawaxer. This power esthi is a waxer by day and on the side offers amazing waxing education, provides great social content and has had the likes of Kelly Baker and Nikki Napalm on her previous episodes. So needless to say I was feeling the nerves before going on!
But I am a huge fan of the podcast and I know how amazing Kirsten is at making her guests feel super comfortable along with having some major Oprah-style authentic conversations. She has a way of making it seem like you're just having a chat with an old friend. This is why I felt like she was the perfect person to break my podcast virginity. Despite my nerves and major introvert vibes, I picked a time on her calendar and tried to psych myself out to talk about myself, our company and our products.
On the day of our podcast, we hopped on together, chatted a bit, started recording and then in a blink of an eye our 45 mins was over. Like what??? Omg, what did I even say? Did I just black out and do an entire podcast to be recorded in the archives of time forever. And ever. And EVER?????
Of course, Kirsten made me feel super comfortable and is amazing at interviewing her guests, so I think it went pretty well. But that didn't stop me from spending the entire next week overthinking every word that I said. Was I awkward? Did I interrupt her too much (one of the quirks of my neurodivergent brain)? Did I talk too much about myself? Was that one time I said that one thing going to make people hate me? Does my mouth look weird when I talk? Omg, I totally forgot to even talk about our amazing product ingredients... and the list goes on and on.
With all this overthinking, I pretty much convinced myself that everyone who listened would hate me, think I was a weirdo (not that being a weirdo is bad; I normally fly my weirdo flag pretty high), and would hate our company forever after. But then I remembered something that Kirsten and I did talk about during our session. We talked about imposter syndrome and how that can affect so many women. I realized that the reality was that it was my first time ever being on a podcast so of course it wasn't perfect, but that I am actually a person with a lot of valuable experience and knowledge to share with our industry. I've been in our industry for over 25 years, have had experience as a service provider in every element of the beauty industry, have owned two multi-million dollar salons, mentored hundreds of others in the industry, and have built a badass product company with incredible formulations that are sold all over the entire world.
Like hello! Obviously I really am that bitch. Just kidding. But seriously, I do have some major experience behind me and I need to remember that!
Even though my logical brain tells me I have so much to share, that doesn't stop the other part of my brain from letting that sneaky little self critic back in. She's the one that says "Who do you think you are? Why do you think anyone cares what you have to say?". She tells me that I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not cool enough. Not enough. But you know what? Here's to 2023 me squishing that nasty little voice underneath my feet as I step up and share more of my authentic self, flaws and all.
Some people might have an easier time brushing off discouraging comments from their inner critic, but for those who struggle with a lot of the same things that I do, let's try to remember these pieces of encouragement in 2023.
Anything that you do with other people's opinions in mind won't be authentically you. Yeah, some people aren't going to like you or your content. And yes, some of them are going to give you that feedback in a really harsh way online. But never forget your story might be the one that inspires another service provider or entrepreneur who's striving to be just where you are now. Don't let those shitty people prevent you from sharing and connecting with the people who might really love you and your content.
Don't overanalyze your content. Do you think that other people are even going to notice that hair that was in your face, or that you blinked too many times? Sit back for a minute and think of your favorite content creators and try to remember if you've ever once thought about how their head was tilted weird or their hand was awkward in a shot. I can almost guarantee you won't. One of my very favorite people who is amazing at putting herself out there and share her most authentic self with her followers, Glenna from @barearizona, says that when you are first starting to put out content, don't record your content; DON'T WATCH IT BACK BEFORE YOU PUT IT OUT. Obviously this won't work with every type of content but for your smaller pieces, don't sweat the small stuff, just get it out there! And once you post it, don't keep re-watching it!
Tell a friend about your struggles with imposter syndrome and have them help out with your content confidence. Now this friend has to be someone who is one of your biggest champions but who will also be honest and tell it like it is. Kirsten @tampawaxer said that one of her go-to's when she first started recording her podcasts was to have a friend actually listen to her recordings before she did. That gave her a chance to get feedback from someone who could give her an honest and loving opinion on the content and whether there were things that needed to be tweaked.
When you feel that inner critic starting to speak up, make sure your logical brain talks louder. When you start to head down the path to your inner critic's reading room, take a second to step back and think of all the amazing things you have accomplished through your career and some of the good things that real-life people who love you tell you all the time. Maybe it's all those clients who tell you on the regular that you give the best Brazilian wax they have ever had. Maybe it's your best friend who tells you how much you inspire them with your drive. Try to think of the ways you have overcome obstacles and achieved success in spite of hardships, or the ways you have grown even when you thought you couldn't.
I know all of this is easy to say and even as I'm writing it, I'm wondering if anyone wants to hear it from me. (Hi, Imposter over here!)
But here it is! I hope you take some of this to heart so we get to enjoy all that you have to offer the world.
Here's a link to my podcast episode on The Waxing Podcast on Apple and Spotify (which I highly recommend following if you aren't already!). Hope you enjoy it and that I don't actually sound like a total weirdo.